365 Days: This Day REVIEW : PANTYHOSED BETWEEN EARTH-SHAKING AND BAD, BAD ACTING

 “365 Days: This Day” is a movie about sex and shopping. Who doesn’t love sex and shopping? Seen through this narrow lens, it makes sense that the Polish erotic romance “365 Days” gained popularity first in cinemas and then on Netflix, where viewers can enjoy their most cautious interest in private. But the sequel franchise that came out of this surprise hit stood out against the quality of the films themselves. 

It’s amazing how clearly this European softcore series can destroy “Fifty Shades of Grey,” even a “Twilight” fanfic blown up on a mega-hit scale. And that’s the least of these movies’ problems. Contrary to the premise of rape culture, the first film “365 Days” has a captivating fantasy: that is, the idea of ​​​​leaving all ugly commitments and problematic men who fill life with independent, overworked modern women and other tastes. decision for a moment.

 It doesn’t take a whole calendar year for an ordinary Warsaw girl Laura (Anna Maria Sieklucka) to fall in love with the Italian mafia king Don Massimo (Michele Morrone): Of course, he was kidnapped and kidnapped while on vacation in Sicily, he promises to be released. after 365 days, if she hadn’t learned to love him in the meantime. But the man looks like a model in his underwear and acts like a Russian oligarch. In this film’s shallow worldview, they’re all that matter. The sequel to “365 Days: This Day,” produced by Netflix, thus has little to do as Laura, who has gone from an unwanted prisoner to a desperate woman in record time. Like “Fifty Shades of Grey,” “365 Days” throws in and out plot lines at its own whim.

 By the end of the last film, it seems that Laura can no longer pursue her dream of buying an ugly expensive wedding dress – oh, and marrying the man she loves (or at least eating her on a yacht). But in the opening sequence, with the camera panning around Laura and Massimo as they try to lick each other’s tonsils on an Instagram-worthy Italian cliff, it’s as if Laura’s brush with the death of a burning car accident never happened. And once the lavish formalities of luxury honeymoons and exotic honeymoons are over, “365 Days: This Day” turns around and asks, “What’s next?” Following is a new person in Laura’s life, probably the gardener Nacho (Simone Susinna). 

It’s hard not to laugh when Nacho is introduced and runs in front of the camera with a truck and ripped jeans. It’s harder not to laugh when this humble worker lives in a luxurious bohemian beach shack that looks like a boutique hotel in Tulum. (That’s the key to the “365 days” lifestyle everyone has in mind, or at least has an unattainable eye for interior design.) Where Massimo is dominant and in control, Nacho is gentle and unobtrusive. And so, while Laura Massimo encounters a flagrant offense with her ex, she encounters Nacho, who will serve as her emotional support for the rest of the film. Laura and Nacho didn’t actually have sex, although she was sure she dreamed about it. 

That’s because, like “Fifty Shades of Grey,” “365 Days” is a conservative dream. Look at the constant, vivid, vivid kinky softcore scenes – as follows, “365 Days: This Day” flirts with male and female full-frontal nudity – and at its core, “365 Days: This Day” is about selling a rich man to married and had children of his own. There are a lot of shop montages in this movie because there are genders and everything is shot in a decadent, unsubstantiated perfume commercial style. 

Expensive watches and fast cars, fashionable jackets and high-end sex toys, a gourmet breakfast on the terrace overlooking the million-dollar scene: Massimo can give Laura everything that made “365 Days: Today” a romance. If he was poor, he would be a thug. A solid 60 percent of “365 Days: This Day” consists of wishful thinking and/or erotic montage. But when it comes to filling the remaining 40 percent, the film does not make good sense to remain a simple conflict between evil and good. Bad-ass identical twins fighting mob families and a duo of the worst villains this season of Team Rocket in “Pokémon” all add up to a sloppily constructed story that culminates in an incredibly inept action climax. It is not clear what exactly the mob did in “365 Days: This Day”. 

At parties, they are often seen whispering in each other’s ear and, it is believed, working out. (Should all Sicilian mobsters under 60 have six packs or just a bonus?) As for the performances, why mix up the words now? They are all terrible. But the “comic relief” provided by Laura and Massimo’s BFFs, Olga (Magdalena Lamparska) and Domenico (Otar Saralidze), is even greater. And how immature was the laughter of the dialogue written as clearly not the first words of the screenwriters, happiness held back the smile when Olga shouted: “I’m not calm! I’m Polish!” The music is just as ridiculous, a bad R&B-ish mishmash to listen to, good enough to hear from a speaker in a fast-paced department store.

 “365 Days: This Day” is almost a movie. It is the emotional bankruptcy of later capitalism, the brain killer that choreographed sex and the useless struggle driven by greed and violence that masks love. The danger is up there on “365 days”. But while it’s more vanilla, “365 Days: This Day” is even more misleading because it claims that the highs – the high-end luxury items, the sculptural contrasts – justify the means – the kidnapping, the coercion, the abuse of women. This time Laura focused on herself. In a way, it’s even worse.

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